Why my marriage is none of your business

This post is dedicated to every single person, male or female, who has asked, or who will ask, me and my parents, questions like, "What kind of a guy do you want?", "When are you getting her married?", "Why don't you get her married?", "Are you searching for a guy for her?", "Do you know how to cook?", etc. 

People, Namaste.

I am a girl in my early twenties; haven't yet created an identity for myself, haven't learnt to stay comfortable within my own skin, haven't found myself as I want to be found by myself, haven't even started with my career. There's already enough clutter in my head regarding so many many issues and I clearly do not have any space left for any more concerns.

Why am I telling this to you? This is too personal right? Right. So is my marriage. MARRIAGE! Frankly speaking, everyone who has asked me or my parents the above questions, makes me pledge that I won't get married and I don't want to get married, just to show you that it's not necessary for me to get married.

Consider this as an answer to all of you who are so very concerned about marrying me off. The first responsibility which you have on you, if at all you are so very concerned about my life is: know what state of mind I am in. Am I a chattel owned by my parents, that you say that it's their 'responsibility' to marry me off? It's high time that we Indians understand that it will be the parents' responsibility to marry their child off (male/female) ONLY if and when the child WANTS to get married. And if you think that no child ever goes up to her parents and says she wants to get married, please wake up from the slumber. We are living in the 21st century, and not the 12th, where the child is too shy to talk about things like marriage and sex. Times have changed, and so should we.

So, please do not concern yourself with my marriage. I may decide not to marry at all. What will you do then? Will you be devastated? Will your life be shattered and tattered? I respect you for showing the concern. But, I think you should also respect what concerns me at what stage of MY life.

Next, you directly come to me and ask, "Do you know how to cook? You should know how to cook, because you will be married soon." My answer is this: I do not want to learn cooking, just because you and millions like you believe that cooking is a qualification for marriage. I won't learn cooking, and then I will get married if at all I feel like. I will learn cooking if at all the time and need for it arises. And, just because you think that making me learn cooking is akin to readying me for marriage, I do not want to learn cooking.

Thirdly, about you people "searching" for a match for me. People, at this point of my life, I have better things to do. I have better things to think about. Even if I tell you that I want a guy who looks like Ranbir Kapoor and who has the character of Lord Sri Ram, can you promise me that you will find me "the suitable match"? Even before all this, have I asked you to search for a partner for me? How can you assume that I am "ready for marriage"? HOW? And, WHY?

If you really really want to help me, talk to me about my current life, about my thoughts, my aspirations, my concerns, not about "what kind of a guy you want". And, authoritatively telling my parents to marry me off: Seriously? Why? Why should it be a priority in my parents life? Won't they know what's right for me and when? You coaxing them into it, doesn't it make me feel like a liability? The urgency with which it's told and the kind of statements that accompany them, is plain ridiculous. "Marry her off, and all your responsibilities will be over"... What am I? The last cattle waiting desperately to be sold at a fair? What?!

So the bottom line is, though I do not disrespect you, I do not mean to offend you, I need to be left alone. I have a life to live. Let me live. I do not need to think about marriage, I am already so saturated with the term, that it's making me question the entire institution of marriage and it's social relevance. We as Indians who want to lead the world, let us get our priorities right in our individual lives, the nation will then take care of itself. Be it a boy or a girl, let us learn to leave each other alone. Life will take care of itself.

P.S.: Everyone of you will be invited to my marriage, IF and WHEN I decide to get married. Cheers.

Comments

  1. Awesome pranusha di....ppl shuld really understand dis....n shuld stop interrupting in others life

    ReplyDelete

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